i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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