i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
