hell yes lets make some ravioli
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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