what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
