We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
