Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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