the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
FUCK WHALES
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize