shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
