Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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