When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
