I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
