He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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