After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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