What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
