remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I am morally bankrupt
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
