Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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