I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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