Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he thought i was a dude.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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