the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
only you would photoshop your dick
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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