I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We are two peas in an std pod
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
