We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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