With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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