apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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