Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize