lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
