found the other keg... it's in the tree
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
