It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
