so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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