OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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