He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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