drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
