I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
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