I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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