me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have post one night stand depression
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
