So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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