did you get engaged???
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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