Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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