shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
