I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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