It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
why didn't you poke me back
look no pants
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You ruined the universe
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
