with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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