I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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