But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
