I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
