Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
