If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
smell my finger.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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