dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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