so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
