if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
and you fell through a lawn chair
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
