so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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