Plan B is the new Plan A
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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