So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
