I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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