Me too!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
