would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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